It had been 6 years.  6 wonderful years together and to celebrate our anniversary, we went back to the place we had called home for 2 years, Hawaii.  On the first night of our vacation, he proposed.  I shrieked, jumped around and did a happy dance.  I screamed “YES” and ran into his arms and kissed him.  Kissed him for the very first time as his fiancée.

Even though this trip to Hawaii was about 4 years ago, it changed my life in more ways than one.  Not only was it the trip where we got engaged but it was a trip where I stared fear directly in the face.  You see, shortly after Matt proposed, we decided to celebrate by going skydiving.  It was something we always wanted to do but never did.  We thought what better place than Hawaii and what better time than now.  We booked it and one morning, bright and early, a van came to pick us up and shuttle us to North Shore Oahu.  From the moment I woke up that morning, I was scared to death.  When we arrived, my fear overcame me.  I was chickening out.  I couldn’t do this.  No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t.  I came up with millions of reasons why I shouldn’t do this.  I told Matt that I was scared beyond belief and that I didn’t see how I was going to actually skydive.  I agreed to finally go along with it but only if I could back out at any point.  As I was getting harnessed in, my legs felt like jello, my stomach was in knots and I thought I might pass out.  I have never, in my whole life, been that scared.  Completely petrified.  Still to this day, I don’t know how I got on that plane.  I remember sitting there with my tandem guide as we took off and thinking how embarrassing it would be when the plane would land and I would still be on it because I was too afraid to jump.  Lucky for me, my tandem guide wasn’t going to give me that option.  We were in the front of the plane so we had to jump first.  Yes, I said first.  Before I knew it, I was at the door and being told directions on how to fall.  And then, he said the words I was dreading.  “Are you ready?” I knew there was no going back.  I could do this.  I had to do this.  I took a deep breath and said yes.  I closed my eyes and jumped.  Seconds later, I opened them.  It was incredible.  It was a cloudy and overcast day in Oahu but all I saw was bright sun.  We were above the clouds.  We were falling so fast that it felt like we were flying.  There are no words to describe how amazing it was.  I couldn’t stop smiling the whole way down.  Once we landed, tears of joy were rolling down my cheeks.  I did it.  I had faced my fear and survived.

I remind myself of this moment often.  Because many times, I let fear run my life.  If something scares me, I talk myself out of doing it.  For the past year or so, I’ve made the decision to stop fear all together.  Sure, it’s still there but it’s not in control.  If my first reaction to something is being afraid, then I know it’s something I need to do.  To take myself out of my comfort zone so I can grow.  I try and use fear now to push me farther instead of holding me back.  It’s easier said than done because fear is powerful.  But I stared it in the face that day when we skydived.  And I conquered it.  I would have missed out on such an amazing experience if I let it win.  But it didn’t.  Here’s to many more moments in life where fear isn’t victorious.

Onto a few pictures from our day of skydiving.  As you can see, I couldn’t even look out the window.  Matt, on the other hand, was excited!  And then, it was go time. Head first towards the clouds.

*note:  All pictures were taken bySkydive Hawaii.  If you are ever in Oahu and want to skydive, check them out!

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”
– Les Brown

We get asked it all the time.  In fact, the questions started very shortly after we got married.  “Soooo, when are you guys going to have children?” While I try and drum up the appropriate response in my head, Matt often chimes in with “We already have a kid.  And her name is Chloe.”

Chloe.  Our squirrel-hating, tail-chasing, ball-catching baby.  Our pup.  She was the first living thing that Matt and I were responsible for together and yes, we treat her like our child.  As all my fellow dog lovers out there can attest to, dogs have a way of warming your hearts and and quickly becoming a four legged family member.  And ours?  Has a personality all her own.

She’s opinionated.  And when I say opinionated, I really mean stubborn.  We’ve trained her well but when she doesn’t want to do something, she won’t.  She has a normal route for her walks and if you turn the wrong corner, she stops.  She won’t move or budge an inch until you go the “right” way.  And if she’s not in the mood to pose for pictures, she won’t.

She’ll walk away or refuse to look at the camera.   Or pretend to be sleeping.

(Both of the above pictures are outtakes from our Christmas blog.)

She’s curious.  About everything.  Though often tentative and shy at first, curiousity always wins out.  This often involves sticking her head in grocery bags, christmas gifts or the usual “sniff down” Matt or I get after arriving back home, just so she can get a whiff of where we have been.  She spends hours each day looking out of different windows because she just has to know what is going on outside at all times.

She’s just so gosh-darn lovable.  I have never met a dog who loves people more than she does.  Anyone who’s been to our house before knows how unbelievably excited she gets when you arrive, whether she’s met you before or not.  She adores her stuffed animals and treats them like her babies.  She never destroys them like most dogs will.  She plays with them all the time and snuggles with them to sleep.  And like any little kid, she often leaves them all over the house.

We do eventually want (human) children.  Someday.  It is the next logical step but one we will be waiting on a little while longer.  In the meantime, we’re enjoying our family of 3.  We’ve learned a lot since Chloe came into our lives two years ago.  It seems funny to say, but Chloe has taught us a great deal.  She reminds us of what is really important.  Things like how essential it is to spend time with those you love.  To remember the small things in life.  Patience.  The importance of loyalty.  To not take yourself too seriously.  Forgiveness.  To always enjoy life.  Unconditional love.  And determination.

She’s a whole lot of cuteness wrapped in one pup.  Because with a face that adorable, how can you not be in love?

Happy Friday!