Settling into Motherhood

Well friends, it feels like YEARS since I’ve blogged.  Or posted some photos.  Shared a session or a wedding.  And while it certainly has been awhile since any of that has happened, there’s definitely been a good reason.

And her name is Maddie.

Becoming a mom this past year was crazy.  Just absolutely amazing and my entire world shifted.  This little human became my utmost priority and having her unlocked a level of joy that I never knew existed and a type of love that I can’t quite put into words.

But becoming a mom for the first time can be challenging.  There’s little time for yourself or your to do list.  And I found that nothing can quite prepare you for motherhood.  I knew things would change and that free time would be less but it’s so much more than that.  Even after having 15+ years of experience nannying and teaching, the role of motherhood is so entirely different.  It’s a 24/7 job that is accompanied by unconditional love, lack of sleep, excitement, worry, euphoria and doubt. Finding balance in it all has been at times difficult especially when I originally figured I would still be able to do most the things that I did prior to having a baby plus everything else that comes with having a little one.  This now makes me laugh.  There were many days early on where just getting dressed or making the bed or finding time to tackle the laundry were huge accomplishments.

But you know what?  For the most part, I’ve grown to be ok with that.

Because all that time I used to spend doing my to do list is now investing in something much more important.  My precious daughter.

She’s only going to be this little once.  So somewhere along the way, I just decided to stop worrying about trying to do everything and just soak up this time with her.  It’s been a long process of learning to really prioritize things and to stop worrying about trying to be perfect.  Because nothing on that list beats time snuggling with her.  Reading her a book.  Being silly, singing songs or having a dance party.  These are the things that have become my top priorities.

It’s no easy task.  It’s a constant daily struggle to not let the doubts get to you.  Or to compare yourselves to others and how they seem to manage it all.  Which has been challenging throughout this year and it brings me to my next point.

Running a business while adapting to all the changes motherhood brings is super hard.

My photography business has been such a labor of love and I have invested countless hours and blood, sweat and tears into it over the past 5 years.  I love my clients so much and take my responsibilities incredibly seriously.  But I’m not going to lie, this past year was tough.  I started back to work earlier than I was really ready to and we had a packed summer season.  I tried to plan as best I could beforehand and I’m thankful I did take a lighter load than normal but it was still a challenge to try and find the time to finish up everything.  But through the help of my husband, family and many many insanely late nights of editing, answering emails and trying to tackle all the business responsibilities, somewhere along the way, things did get done.  I’m just so thankful for my clients and their grace and understanding as I tried to figure it all out this past year.  And this coming year is all about perfecting that balance between work, family and life.

I truly loved these past 12 months and 2014 will always hold such a special place in my heart.  And I’m excited for the rest of 2015 and whatever it may bring.  I’ve got so many blogs to write, sessions to post and I can’t wait to share all the projects and shoots from the past 12+ months.  In the meantime, here’s a recent photo of me and my little Maddie over Christmas.  How she will be one tomorrow is beyond me?!?  I keep wishing for time to slow down but it’s flying by at such a rapid pace.  Every month though brings so many firsts and new things with Maddie and we just are completely enamored with watching her grow and learn.

Life is such fun with this little one by my side.